Classic Rotary Phones Forum

Telephone Talk => Pay Station Telephones => All Other Pay Telephones => Topic started by: kbrenny on February 20, 2018, 02:39:19 PM

Title: Funny Pay phone information cards
Post by: kbrenny on February 20, 2018, 02:39:19 PM
I am currently working on a project involving 2 Ernest ETX pay phones.
Both phones are brand new and I am trying to get them set up for home use in my / my buddies man caves.

I received all the paperwork with each phone, including the owners manual, programming instructions, and 7 different information cards.

I have scanned all these information cards into my computer but would like to modify or edit them to make them funny.
I want to make them look like the originals as far as font, color and sizing. I just want them to have some humorous content.
Most people will never notice this unless they start reading the information cards but I think it will be more interesting.

I have the ability to do the editing to create these but I am just looking for suggestions or ideas from the forum.

For example:
On the top right of the upper card there is a coin with 25 on it.
I want to change this to a 50 and put underneath it:
"phone calls are still .25, the other .25 is to cover vandalism and theft".

Once I finish these "funny" Information cards I will be glad to share them on this forum.

Ideas so far:

1. "calls are still .25, the other .25 is to cover vandalism and theft".

2. It is a felony to cause damage to a public telephone.
Conviction may result in 5 years imprisonment and $5,000 fine.
You will prefer this option if the owner of this phone catches you.

3. Deposit U.S. coins only.
Unless they look really cool, then I might want them.

4. Not maintained by the local telephone company.
They gave up on pay phones years ago.

5. Service & Refunds ...211 (Yeah, right. Good luck with that)

6. Directory Assistance ...411 (kind of like an old school Google or Siri)

7. 611 - Repair Service (Ha! We really just throw it away.)

8. International Calling: This phone doesn't call internationally, per Presidential Executive Orders 13769 & 13780 (Protecting the Nation from Foreign ... Entry into the United States) and Executive Order 13767 (Border Security ... Improvements)

9. Listen for Dial Tone
Deposit 10¢/25¢
Enjoy the fact that you can still get something for only 10¢/25¢

10. This is a Dial Tone First Phone.
(A Dial Tone is what you hear when you lift a handset on a real phone)
Title: Re: Pay phone information cards
Post by: HarrySmith on February 20, 2018, 04:51:29 PM
Cool! Sounds like a great idea! I will have to look at some real cards and see if I can come up with some humorous wording. I am sure others will come up with some good stuff, we have a lot of guys here with an unusual sense of humor! Including me ;D
Title: Re: Pay phone information cards
Post by: kbrenny on February 21, 2018, 12:39:15 AM
I have modified my original post and will keep a list of ideas as people come up with them.

Another idea:

It is a felony to cause damage to a public telephone.
Conviction may result in 5 years imprisonment and $5,000 fine.
You will prefer this option if the owner of this phone catches you.
Title: Re: Funny Pay phone information cards
Post by: kbrenny on February 21, 2018, 06:06:38 PM
Some more ideas:

Deposit U.S. coins only.
Unless they look really cool, then I might want them.

Not maintained by the local telephone company.
They gave up on pay phones years ago.

Service & Refunds ...211 (Yeah, right. Good luck with that)

Directory Assistance ...411 (kind of like an old school Google or Siri)
Title: Re: Funny Pay phone information cards
Post by: compubit on February 21, 2018, 06:22:15 PM
611 - Repair Service (Ha! We really just throw it away.)

International Calling: This phone doesn't call internationally, per Presidential Executive Orders 13769 & 13780 (Protecting the Nation from Foreign ... Entry into the United States) and Executive Order 13767 (Border Security ... Improvements)

Listen for Dial Tone
Deposit 10¢/25¢
Enjoy the fact that you can still get something for only 10¢/25¢

This is a Dial Tone First Phone.
(A Dial Tone is what you hear when you lift a handset on a real phone)

Jim
Title: Re: Funny Pay phone information cards
Post by: kbrenny on February 21, 2018, 06:28:01 PM
Good ones. Added to list.
Title: Re: Funny Pay phone information cards
Post by: AL_as_needed on February 23, 2018, 10:01:42 PM
Or a warning for millennials: 

"This phone cannot check your Email, Facebook, or send text messages.....You'll actually have to talk to someone."
Title: Re: Funny Pay phone information cards
Post by: Haf on March 10, 2018, 06:21:23 PM
Found one on the net..funny

Haf
Title: Re: Funny Pay phone information cards
Post by: kleenax on March 10, 2018, 07:43:42 PM
Here's one:
Title: Re: Funny Pay phone information cards
Post by: Markgregory on August 12, 2018, 04:48:45 AM
"Tamper with this phone at your own risk. This is not a gun free zone."  Too mean? LOL 🤪
Title: Re: Funny Pay phone information cards
Post by: RB on August 15, 2018, 11:22:17 AM
"Tamper with this phone at your own risk. This is not a gun free zone."
"This phone cannot check your Email, Facebook, or send text messages.....You'll actually have to talk to someone."
these two are the best!   ...so far...