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Funny Pay phone information cards

Started by kbrenny, February 20, 2018, 02:39:19 PM

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kbrenny

I am currently working on a project involving 2 Ernest ETX pay phones.
Both phones are brand new and I am trying to get them set up for home use in my / my buddies man caves.

I received all the paperwork with each phone, including the owners manual, programming instructions, and 7 different information cards.

I have scanned all these information cards into my computer but would like to modify or edit them to make them funny.
I want to make them look like the originals as far as font, color and sizing. I just want them to have some humorous content.
Most people will never notice this unless they start reading the information cards but I think it will be more interesting.

I have the ability to do the editing to create these but I am just looking for suggestions or ideas from the forum.

For example:
On the top right of the upper card there is a coin with 25 on it.
I want to change this to a 50 and put underneath it:
"phone calls are still .25, the other .25 is to cover vandalism and theft".

Once I finish these "funny" Information cards I will be glad to share them on this forum.

Ideas so far:

1. "calls are still .25, the other .25 is to cover vandalism and theft".

2. It is a felony to cause damage to a public telephone.
Conviction may result in 5 years imprisonment and $5,000 fine.
You will prefer this option if the owner of this phone catches you.

3. Deposit U.S. coins only.
Unless they look really cool, then I might want them.

4. Not maintained by the local telephone company.
They gave up on pay phones years ago.

5. Service & Refunds ...211 (Yeah, right. Good luck with that)

6. Directory Assistance ...411 (kind of like an old school Google or Siri)

7. 611 - Repair Service (Ha! We really just throw it away.)

8. International Calling: This phone doesn't call internationally, per Presidential Executive Orders 13769 & 13780 (Protecting the Nation from Foreign ... Entry into the United States) and Executive Order 13767 (Border Security ... Improvements)

9. Listen for Dial Tone
Deposit 10¢/25¢
Enjoy the fact that you can still get something for only 10¢/25¢

10. This is a Dial Tone First Phone.
(A Dial Tone is what you hear when you lift a handset on a real phone)

HarrySmith

Cool! Sounds like a great idea! I will have to look at some real cards and see if I can come up with some humorous wording. I am sure others will come up with some good stuff, we have a lot of guys here with an unusual sense of humor! Including me ;D
Harry Smith
ATCA 4434
TCI

"There is no try,
there is only
do or do not"

kbrenny

I have modified my original post and will keep a list of ideas as people come up with them.

Another idea:

It is a felony to cause damage to a public telephone.
Conviction may result in 5 years imprisonment and $5,000 fine.
You will prefer this option if the owner of this phone catches you.

kbrenny

Some more ideas:

Deposit U.S. coins only.
Unless they look really cool, then I might want them.

Not maintained by the local telephone company.
They gave up on pay phones years ago.

Service & Refunds ...211 (Yeah, right. Good luck with that)

Directory Assistance ...411 (kind of like an old school Google or Siri)

compubit

611 - Repair Service (Ha! We really just throw it away.)

International Calling: This phone doesn't call internationally, per Presidential Executive Orders 13769 & 13780 (Protecting the Nation from Foreign ... Entry into the United States) and Executive Order 13767 (Border Security ... Improvements)

Listen for Dial Tone
Deposit 10¢/25¢
Enjoy the fact that you can still get something for only 10¢/25¢

This is a Dial Tone First Phone.
(A Dial Tone is what you hear when you lift a handset on a real phone)

Jim
A phone phanatic since I was less than 2 (thanks to Fisher Price); collector since a teenager; now able to afford to play!
Favorite Phone: Western Electric Trimline - it just feels right holding it up to my face!

kbrenny


AL_as_needed

Or a warning for millennials: 

"This phone cannot check your Email, Facebook, or send text messages.....You'll actually have to talk to someone."
TWinbrook7

Haf

Found one on the net..funny

Haf
Telephone:
0049-030-55474418
1-415-449-4743
1-604-757-7474

kleenax

Here's one:
Ray Kotke
Recumbent Casting, LLC

Markgregory

"Tamper with this phone at your own risk. This is not a gun free zone."  Too mean? LOL 🤪

RB

"Tamper with this phone at your own risk. This is not a gun free zone."
"This phone cannot check your Email, Facebook, or send text messages.....You'll actually have to talk to someone."
these two are the best!   ...so far...