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Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor

Started by HobieSport, May 01, 2009, 07:08:40 PM

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.....

Just about right. LOL

david@london

'So, this lockdown — what's it like?'

.....

Call Girl.....

19and41

This does involve what passes for telephone communication these days...
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
— Arthur C. Clarke

SUnset2

This is a picture from an actual listing on Ebay for a reproduction candlestick telephone from India.

If I understand the instructions correctly, I continue to listen to the dial tone until it times out, and then I drop the receiver?

https://www.ebay.com/itm/313520831863?hash=item48ff4c3d77:g:mD4AAOSwcflglO23

FABphones

A collector of  'Monochrome Phones with Sepia Tones'   ...and a Duck!
***********
Vintage Phones - 10% man made, 90% Tribble
*************

FABphones

A collector of  'Monochrome Phones with Sepia Tones'   ...and a Duck!
***********
Vintage Phones - 10% man made, 90% Tribble
*************

19and41

Wonder if anything like this was envisioned 60 years ago in our wonderful world of the future?

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
— Arthur C. Clarke

FABphones

This one is a bit naughty, but it would be fun to be in on the joke in an elevator full of people...
A collector of  'Monochrome Phones with Sepia Tones'   ...and a Duck!
***********
Vintage Phones - 10% man made, 90% Tribble
*************

19and41

That reminds me of when I used to make the most convincing, undetectable noises on the trains in Germany.  It was effective in getting a compartment to myself and friends, while stationed there.
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
— Arthur C. Clarke

19and41

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
— Arthur C. Clarke

FABphones

A collector of  'Monochrome Phones with Sepia Tones'   ...and a Duck!
***********
Vintage Phones - 10% man made, 90% Tribble
*************

MMikeJBenN27

Love the one about the payphone, and them not fixing it until it starts giving the money back.

Mike

Etienne

This one is a rather long one... Fernand Raynaud, le 22 à Asnières! One of the most popular french sketches of the twentieth century. it caricatured quite well the appalling french network's state in the 1960's (and I must say, most of La Poste employees are still as welcoming as prison doors nowadays)

https://www.ina.fr/ina-eclaire-actu/video/i06268515/fernand-raynaud-le-22-a-asnieres

The scene takes place in Paris. Asnières is a neghbouring suburb. Most of french exchanges were still manually operated back then.

Translation (may sound a bit strange, english is not my mother tongue, and google translate helped a bit):

HIM - Uh ... Hey-ho? Miss the P.T.T. employee? Hey-ho? You are behind your counter, there ... Hey! Are you sleeping ?
OPERATOR - Can't you see I'm doing my totals, can you?
HIM - What are you doing?
OPERATOR - My totals!
HE - Well, if you're doing your totals ... Anyway, in the post office, it is your counter one has to come to make calls, right? ... Hey!
OPERATOR - You're a pain! What do you want?
HIM - I would like to make a phone call.
OPERATOR - To whom?
HIM - I would like to call Asnières 22.
OPERATOR - Can't go by bike, can you? Hello ? Hello, exchange? ... Isn't that Zézette's voice? How are you, Zézette? This is Monique! What are you doing at the exchange? You have been transferred? Oh ! Okay, okay. Where did you go to dance on Saturday? At the Wagram? Well, I don't go there anymore. Oh no, that's too snobbish. And your sister ? She is sick ? Oh well, so much the better. So much the better, so much the better. Does she have social security? Well, then she can go dancing all week. Why is that you called me? Did I call you? Oh ? Oh, well, yes, what do you want there?
HIM - I would like to call Asnières 22.
OPERATOR - Hello? Asnières 22, please. That's it. You call me back? Bye. Kiss you. Kiss your sister for me too.
...
HIM - Do you think it's going to be long? May not know, of course. With all those cable in front of you... Oh, sorry sir.
CUSTOMER 2 - Oh, please. Miss, speak english?
OPERATOR - No.
CLIENT 2 - For San Francisco, "Cent Francs six Co" for you, X, six, four, three, five. San Francisco, X6435.
OPERATOR - I didn't understand anything.
CLIENT 2 - San Francisco, six, four, three, two, X, five.
OPERATOR - Hello? Hello ? Yes, radio booth, please. To San Francisco. San Francisco, Pennsylvania. I would like the 6325X5. In San Francisco. You got it directly, over the radio? San Francisco, booth 6!
HIM- And my Asnières? I was riding my bike, and then I had a puncture. And I am to be introduced to my future mother-in-law, if I ever arrive late ... You know what it is. Oh, sorry sir.
CLIENT 3- Oh, I'm sorry. Miss, I would like to call Liège, une fois, Mr. Van Der Brock, uh, Van Der Brück. 75, Boulevard...
OPERATOR- How much did you say? (note: impossible to translate. French an Belgian people do not say the same words at all for numbers from 70 to 99- here belgian= septante-cinq, french: soixante-quinze)
CLIENT 3- 75.
OPERATOR- How much is that, 75?
CLIENT 3- Well, it's a 95 (note: here belgian= nonante-cinq, while french= quatre-vingt-quinze) minus 20. I would like to call Liège une fois, Mr. Van der Brück, not Van Der brück, Van der Brock. Van Der Brück? I can't remember his phone number at all. Booh! I'm not drunk, you're going to shut up a bit, wife, it's impossible, this woman who's following me everywhere. Booh, I'm not drunk, not with the beer I drank, 1 Franc, you're going to shut up at once ? I know he's a butcher, do you think it's possible to ...?
OPERATOR- Doesn't know what he wants, this one. Hello. Liège please! Belgium. Hello, listen, I need a Van Der... How is your Van Der, is he Brock or Brück? He's Brock! So we don't have the address, we don't have the phone number, but it seems he may be a butcher.... Well, just have a look in the professionals' section. Ah, you're already looking in, found it, very well. Liège, booth 5!
HIM- And my Asnières?
OPERATOR No, really, you're not alone here, are you?
HIM- It's beginning to get a bit long, isn't it? Oh, sorry sir.
CUSTOMER 4- Fräulein, bitte! Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
OPERATOR- mm, mm.
CUSTOMER 4- Für Berlin. Herr Karl von Strassen, Zwei Alexanderplatz. Telefon Vierundzwanzig, bitte.
OPERATOR - Oh well, at least he knows what he wants. Hello ? Berlin please! Hello, berlin? Ja! Hier ist gross Paris! Telefon Vierundzwanzig, Herr Karl, what's the name? Herr Karl von Strassen. Telefon vierundzwanzig. Hey, listen to what I'm telling you! If you're talking all the time ... Vier-und-zwan-zig! Like twelve, two times. Ja! Ja. Yes, very well. Thank you. Berlin, booth 5!
CUSTOMER 4- Was?
OPERATOR- Berlin, booth fünf.
CUSTOMER 4- Danke schön.
OPERATOR- Bitte schön.
CUSTOMER 4- Auf wiedersehen.
HIM- And my Asnières? ... Couldn't I get New York?
OPERATOR - Oh, you gotta know what you want, right?
HIM- I want New York. It's my right, isn't it?
OPERATOR- Well, if you want New York, you'll have New York. Hello, New York please. No no, New York, quite simply, he wants New York. New York ! Very well, thank you thank you thank you. New York, booth 1!
HIM- Hello? Hello, New York? Couldn't you switch to Asnières 22?

FABphones

A collector of  'Monochrome Phones with Sepia Tones'   ...and a Duck!
***********
Vintage Phones - 10% man made, 90% Tribble
*************