Classic Rotary Phones Forum

Other Telephone Information => Across The Web => Topic started by: HobieSport on May 01, 2009, 07:08:40 PM

Title: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: HobieSport on May 01, 2009, 07:08:40 PM
I just thought it would be nice to have a thread for general telephone jokes, cartoons and other telephone humor.  Got any good ones?

A Proposed Phone Menu:

(Not to make fun of any folks with these actual conditions; just making fun of phone menus in general.) :)

    * If you are obsessive-compulsive press 1 repeatedly.

    * If you are co-dependant, please ask someone else to press 2 for you.

    * If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 & 6.

    * If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, please stay on the line so we can trace your call and persecute you.

    * If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

    * If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

    * If you are dyslexic, press 69696969696969696969696.

    * If you have amnesia, press 8, followed by your date of birth, your social security number, home phone number, the square root of 1,555,666,777,888 and your tax code followed by the atomic number for Uranium.

    * If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

    * If you have BI-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, for gosh sake wait for the beep.

    * If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.

    * If you are suffering from short-term memory loss, please press 9.
   
    * If you have low self esteem, go away, no one can be bothered to talk to you anyway.

***

A Very Busy Lawyer

Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town. He really wanted to impress everyone. He opened his new law office, but business was very slow at first.

One day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking. "No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million. Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay. Tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details. "

Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man. "I'm sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"

The man replied, "I'm from the phone company. I came to hook up your phone."

***

Irish Telephones

Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving their best scientists. Core drilling samples of earth were taken to a depth of 50m and during the core examinations, small pieces of copper were discovered. After running many arduous tests on these samples, the German government announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.

Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. So they ordered their own scientists to take their core samples at a depth of 100m. From these samples, they found small pieces of glass and soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fiberoptic network.

Irish scientists were outraged. So immediately after this announcement, they ordered their scientist to take samples at a depth of 200m but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Irish 55,000 years ago were an even more advanced civilization, as they already had a mobile telephone network in place.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Tonyrotary on May 02, 2009, 09:40:32 AM
Bill was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission.

Repeated requests for repair brought only promises.

After several days, Bill again contacted the phone company and told that there was no longer a rush. The phone was now working fine...except that all money was being returned upon completion of each call.

A repairman arrived within the hour!


Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: HobieSport on May 03, 2009, 01:32:08 AM
Yip Yips Meet the Telephone!

http://tinyurl.com/cpoy5k  ( dead link 12-21-17 )

(Yep yep yep) :D
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: HobieSport on May 07, 2009, 10:22:58 PM
Little known B movie:
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: HobieSport on May 13, 2009, 11:15:37 PM
I couldn't resist a little quick re-working in Photoshop...
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: AtomicEraTom on May 13, 2009, 11:41:25 PM
I'm related to Vincent Price.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: HobieSport on May 14, 2009, 12:05:01 AM
Quote from: AtomicEraTom
I'm related to Vincent Price.

Really? Cool! What's the link? The Prices were friends with the Dreyfusses. I have Prices in my family but no connection to Vincent as far as I know.  But Andrew Jackson is my seventh uncle.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: AtomicEraTom on May 14, 2009, 12:06:47 AM
I'm not sure, but he shows up on the family tree on my grandma's side when I looked into it online.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Steve on May 14, 2009, 12:37:46 AM

 Very cool Tom. I'm not related to anyone special like that.   just Matt.. :)
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: AtomicEraTom on May 14, 2009, 04:59:19 PM
Oh, and I'm related to Tom Wopat too, he lives a couple towns over in Lodi.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: bingster on May 14, 2009, 06:27:07 PM
Steve, you're related to Matt?


The only people I'm related to are my parents.  I think I might be adopted though... I'm almost certain I'm supposed to be a Vanderbilt.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Darto on August 27, 2012, 06:16:35 PM
http://www.gocomics.com/rabbitsagainstmagic/2009/01/20

 ;D
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Darto on August 28, 2012, 09:16:30 PM
Hello?

I have exactly one vintage phone, a WE 102, the numbers say made in 1930 which makes it one of the very last manufactured.

On the other hand we have a houseful of vintage stuff, just the usual stuff people have, only older. Our coffee pot is glass percolator, Pyrex 1939. Our hunting rifle is a muzzleloader matchlock. Our radio is a big ol' Kennedy model 20 made in 1930. The Bicycle is a Bruce Gordon touring model from decades ago. The oven a 1950's stovetop. A 1960's tube television (hooked up to cable to get all the modern channels). Et. cetera. The hiking quipment is vintage, a vintage Svea 123 that sings during supper (coleman fuel roarer burner).

The phone works as well as any modern plug in phone and is connected through a Majic Jack and plays and rings loud and clear.

Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: ldj1002 on April 11, 2013, 11:14:48 AM
[i mg]h ttps://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/99219676/phone%20download.jpg[/i mg][/s]  ( dead link  12-21-17 )
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Russ Kirk on April 11, 2013, 01:37:23 PM
And some more....
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: DavePEI on April 11, 2013, 01:37:36 PM
Cartoon

See: http://www.classicrotaryphones.com/forum/index.php?topic=9078.msg97262#msg97262
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: AE_Collector on April 11, 2013, 10:46:58 PM
I think that is actually the third time that cartoon has been posted here! It is popular at least. Maybe we should have a single pinned topic on the "Across the Web" board for nothing but catoons. I am not certain that "Across the Web" is the correct area but is there a better spot for them?

I see that we do have an OLD topic that was intended to be for Telephone Cartoons and Jokes so I went ahead and merged these two topics together here.

Terry
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: poplar1 on April 12, 2013, 10:36:31 AM
I don't have a copy of it, but there was a B.C. comic where the guy installed the first phone ever on a tree. Yet after he finishes installing it, it begins to ring!
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: DavePEI on April 12, 2013, 11:16:04 AM
I don't have a copy of it, but there was a B.C. comic where the guy installed the first phone ever on a tree. Yet after he finishes installing it, it begins to ring!

Some of the best funny photos ever, I think appeared on Flintstones (see photo of Betty on the rock-a-phone), and on Green * Acres (the pole-phone)! Betty must have been calling the guy in the tree!

Dave

* What are you talking abut, Terry? :)
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: poplar1 on April 12, 2013, 11:39:13 AM
I always wondered how Eddie Albert could hear on that butt set since he always had it upside down.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: AE_Collector on April 12, 2013, 01:10:24 PM
and on Green Gables

Hey are you from PEI or something?!

What about Green Acres, not Anne of Green Gables!

Terry

Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: DavePEI on April 12, 2013, 01:48:27 PM
and on Green Gables

Hey are you from PEI or something?!

What about Green Acres, not Anne of Green Gables!

Terry


Must be....

Dave
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: HowardPgh on April 12, 2013, 04:51:48 PM
An Ericophon would look good in the Easter Island picture.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: DavePEI on April 24, 2013, 06:53:52 AM
Another Telephone Cartoon - Wired vs. Cellular
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: DavePEI on June 06, 2013, 04:33:52 PM
Oh, My!
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Adam on June 06, 2013, 05:34:23 PM
Very appropriate for what's in the news today, Dave.  Here's one even more to the point:
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: AE_Collector on June 06, 2013, 06:21:16 PM
I guess this one could go here as well as in this topic:

http://www.classicrotaryphones.com/forum/index.php?topic=9420.0

Terry
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: poplar1 on June 07, 2013, 08:59:00 AM
Oh, My!

I'm not surprised about the wiretaps or call record dumps. Rather, what surprises me  is the ratio of cell phone lines to real phone lines (5 to 1), although this is somewhat overstated because Verizon has a larger footprint for cell phones and has sold off their traditional lines in places like Vermont.


[from MSN News:]
"Verizon Communications Inc. listed 121 million customers in its first-quarter earnings report this April 98.9 million wireless customers, 11.7 million residential phone lines and about 10 million commercial lines. The court order didn't specify which customers' records were being tracked.

"Under the terms of the order, the phone numbers of both parties on a call are handed over, as are location data, call duration, unique identifiers, and the time and duration of all calls. The contents of the conversation itself are not covered, The Guardian said."

http://news.msn.com/us/nsa-collecting-phone-records-of-verizon-customers
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: compubit on March 21, 2015, 03:16:58 PM
Saw this today (from tomorrow's comic section), and felt it was apropos for this group...

Jim
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Duffy on March 21, 2015, 03:20:06 PM
That's good, so true.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: HarrySmith on March 21, 2015, 04:30:35 PM
Very appropriate.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: TelePlay on March 21, 2015, 06:45:01 PM
Another good one added to the existing collection.

http://www.classicrotaryphones.com/forum/index.php?topic=982.msg146228#msg146228

And then there is this one, my personal favorite, that is somewhere on the forum (and on my hard drive).
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Brinybay on April 09, 2015, 12:45:50 PM
I prefer using my black-500 daily driver to find my cell phone, but point made.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: HarrySmith on April 09, 2015, 09:39:07 PM
Cool! I like that one :D
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Mr. Bones on April 09, 2015, 09:57:00 PM
Great cartoons, please, by all means, keep 'em coming. I get a great big, much needed laugh from each one! Many thanks!

Best regards!
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: TelePlay on December 23, 2015, 04:05:45 PM
It not a cartoon but it is two pages from MAD Magazine published in May of 1962. It was their 6th Annual Edition of Trash from MAD so this most likely was first published in one of their monthly publications between June 1961 and April 1962.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Fabius on December 23, 2015, 07:13:09 PM
Who was Alexander Graham Bellinski?


The first Telephone Pole.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: oldguy on December 24, 2015, 12:04:53 AM
I loved MAD magazine back in the day.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Mr. Bones on December 24, 2015, 01:39:11 AM
I loved MAD magazine back in the day.

Me too! Cracked, as well.

Best regards!
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Matilo Telephones on December 24, 2015, 03:27:30 AM
And where are you going to put yours?
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: andre_janew on December 24, 2015, 12:39:21 PM
I find it amazing how Mad Magazine predicted the future of the telephone back in 1962.  I say that because now we have the card dialers and the phones that change your voice.  However, they probably don't work quite like the ones illustrated!
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Mr. Bones on December 24, 2015, 06:25:12 PM
Merry Christmas!

With my warmest regards for all of you, and all of yours!

Bonedaddy
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: AE_Collector on December 26, 2015, 12:19:06 AM
Not phone related but .......
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Brinybay on September 18, 2016, 11:27:18 PM
.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Fabius on September 19, 2016, 11:30:57 AM
More Telephone Humor
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: RotaryOne on October 06, 2016, 07:43:40 PM
saw this today .. on my phone  :)
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: TelePlay on October 07, 2016, 02:31:40 AM
Even more telephone humor . . .
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Duffy on March 25, 2017, 04:06:47 PM
 :o

Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: david@london on March 29, 2017, 08:03:09 PM
21st century porridge.......
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Fabius on March 29, 2017, 10:19:53 PM
Took a moment to get it.
Title: Re: NTelephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: BigBird0000 on July 05, 2017, 04:02:48 PM
Not a joke or cartoon, but something to smile at...

scroll a little bit down on this:

     The Phone Car (https://myclassicgarage.com/social/posts/155209-insanely-decorated-cars-and-vehicles?utm_source=MyClassicGarage+Emails&utm_campaign=bffe46e108-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2017_07_05&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_fded08965b-bffe46e108-272446397)
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: TelePlay on July 05, 2017, 04:39:49 PM
Proves beyond an doubt that some people have way too much time on their hands and money to burn. My favorite was "Guitarbike" at the very end. That is an accident waiting to happen. Not on topic wrt telephones but worth posting here for a great head shaker.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: HarrySmith on July 05, 2017, 04:44:17 PM
I just went back through this thread to check out all the humor. There are some really good ones!
Also a shame so many are gone due to image hosting issues.
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: Brinybay on December 21, 2017, 12:16:52 PM
This little girl REEEEAAALLLY wants to use the Mattel-O-Phone! Soon death beams will emerge from her eyes!

Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: TelePlay on December 21, 2017, 01:08:58 PM
An Ericophon would look good in the Easter Island picture.

Better late than never, before:

(http://www.classicrotaryphones.com/forum/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=982.0;attach=4620;image)

After:
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: TelePlay on January 11, 2018, 01:41:32 PM
This is cute but it will make you feel smart or old or both.

     https://youtu.be/XkuirEweZvM
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: AE_Collector on January 11, 2018, 02:38:33 PM
Hhmmmmm..
Title: Re: Telephone Jokes, Cartoons and Humor
Post by: tipnring on January 12, 2018, 02:05:09 PM
You might like this one. Dennis